ouch,

i lost my best friends.

yeah. i did.

it was yesterday. 01-30-08.

a normal afternoon.

nigel and i were goofing around.

jean was taking guitar lessons from beljoe.

dey was taking care of chestnut.

milca was reading a pocketbook.

mildred was with joevelle.

yeah, it was a normal afternoon.

then, i stopped for a minute.

and i thought,i haven't talked to shan for this week.

so, i went near sc-d room and then,

i called her.

i hugged her.

and then i noticed,

she wasn't wearing the badge i gave bh.

then, she said it.

"wala ng bh. tinapos na namin."

i didn't know how to react.

i froze.

since when did they decide that, i thought.

i tried not to cry but suddenly, i felt i needed to,

i ran away from her.

i stayed with mildred.

and suddenly.

poof.

a tear ran down my face.

i went away from them.

i can't take the fact that bh was done.

OVER.

i cried.

then, my other friends came near me.

they noticed how sad and miserable i was.

then, i just cried.

and thought, why the hell would they that to me?

it was not my fault that i changed.

[read my open letter for more details]

damn, they were my best friends.

i can't organize my time.

i dunno.

now,

we are still not talking.

"nagtatampo ako."

i dunno if we can fix this.

maybe.

it.

is.

the.

end.

for.

bh.

:(:(